Shitty Situations

The other day, my partner said, “We don’t learn from the things that go well. We learn from the things that are difficult.’

That same day, a challenging situation presented itself, almost as if to prove his point.

I had been dealing with an unhappy customer who kept coming back, trying to make me responsible for a mistake she had made.

There was nothing I could do to resolve the situation, but she wouldn’t let go. It was exhausting.

The more messages we exchanged, the more I was affected by the situation.The more compassion I showed for her frustration and disappointment, the more aggressive her accusations became.

And then I remembered my partners words, so I asked myself: ‘What can I learn from this situation?’

Asking that question alone can be so powerful. Taking a step back and detaching emotionally for a moment allows clarity to arise.

That’s when I realised that I really wanted her to believe and understand me because being understood meant being accepted. That’s why I couldn’t let go.

But the reality is that some people don’t want to understand you and you don’t have the power to change their mind.

We cannot control other people’s thoughts, feelings or emotions and this means that we will be misunderstood or disliked from time to time.

However, our worth, honesty and integrity don’t depend on others’ approval.

When we let go of the need for external acceptance and approval, and focus entirely on how we show up, we take back our power.

What really matters is how we feel about ourselves.

The moment I understood this, the angry customer stopped messaging.